NOSTALGIA DALAM 2013-MARVELLOUS

Nukilan ini akan Ku coretkan disini semampu yang boleh sebelum ku melabuhkan tirai walaupun
kini sudah mencecah tahun 2014..
Ya..Sudah masuk Tahun 2014..2hb Januari 2014..
Mungkin kesibukan bekerja..
Mungkin keadaan ketika itu..
Mungkin Kesempitan Masa..
Mungkin kenkangan kesihatan..
Menghalangku dan melemahkan diriku untuk membuat nukilan ini.. 
Namun..ku rasakan adanya kesempatan ini..
Selagi aku berupaya untuk mencoretkan yer agar ia menjadi kenangan dan ingatan buat diriku ini

TAHUN 2013..
Ku rasakan sangat-sangat 'AMAZING'
Ku rasakan sangat- sangat 'MARVELLOUS'
Ku rasakan sangat- sangat ' CHALLENGING'
Ku rasakan menguji  diri menjadi lebih 'RESILIENT'

Ya..Diriku sering mengingatkan hati ini bahawa seperti setiap yang berlaku itu adalah rahmat buat hambanya..
Ya..Namun hati manusia.. Hati seorang hamba..
Lemah.. leka..cuai..
itu yang mampu ku tafsirkan..Yang sering mendapat bisikan syaitan disekelilingnya..
Pastinya kadangkala diri ini kecundangan...

Aku tak tahu untuk mulakan ia dari mana..
Diawal tahun 2013..
Bermula dari bulan Januari
Bulan Febuari ..seterusnya bulan Mac..
Ya.. Sungguh..macamane nak cakap
Ya Allah.. hati sangat excited..umpama mendapat 'PELUANG' & 'RAHMAT' yang begitu hebat sekali..
Akak kesayangan..ah..kedua-dua kakakku adalah kesayanganku

MENTARI MASIH ADA...

2 Tahun Menyepi..
Syukran..
Masih Bernafas dan Diberikan Ruang
Untuk Memperbaiki diri ke arah yang lebih baik..

"A time you still here is because..
He give you
A chance to amends..
A opportunity to repay..
A space to close to HIM by yourself..
A fill in any defeats that you made..

He love you..
He merciful..
He Always near to you..
He knows everything about you..

Ya Allah..
Ya Rahman..
Ya Rahim..
Ya Robbal Alamin..

Exhausted With Smile

Almost 2 month ..no write here..
VERY..VERY 222 PACKED time..
constrain of time ..
All of these due to my work load has increased now..
I had repeated my IELTS exam for second time...
Then.. spent time with Ex-SPM student for about a week..
Stay at Kota Bharu for 4 days..
Let me so exhausted with promotion and workssss...
But happy because i still can give suggestion and advices to those students with love..
then..return home with worry about my result...
_________________________________________________________
Story about my IELTS result..
Once i return home.i think that time is around 6pm..of course totally tired due sat in the Van for 4 hour. my legs so cramped..
I go prayed then..had decide to go to Cybercafe (well my home no internet for awhile...how pathetic i looks).. that time already late..around 650pm..i felt afraid but eager to know the results...When i reach at cyberCafe..i booked for a PC..i had tried key in the User and Pasword..
Oh my God...about more than 20 times i try ...all my passwords that familiar with me..but still i cannot recall the password for result...WHY2222..WHAT THAT meaning
i gave up and return home..After Maghrib..there was raining but i still excited to find the result..So, i go back to CyberCafe..but then..still22222..I felt so tense and stress with my fatigue condition due to long journey...
Then ..i give up..Just for HIM wish for my result
The next day..I woke up quite late..then i try to claim down for awhile by planning to clean my house before go to cybercafe..
Suddenly..when hanging up the clothes..i look up at the post box and so surprise that my hardcopy result had been posted to me.
I looked at the result without any clue in mind...OF COURSE...Its totally surprise..
PERHAP i OVERCONFIDENT..OVEREXCITED...BECAME SPEECHLESS..LOST...NO IDEA at all..No tears ..no feeling..
Oh How come..I dont know what should ido now.. no ideas at all..
Very frustrated...
Then..I called my mu UM..Of course my utmost supporter but i became totally speechless Because my mum asked how come you got this result..Then,...i felt tears was going out from my eyes..I cannot talk anymore..ONLY said "SORRY MUMMY"..
Then..my utmost best Frendszzzz..both of them surely the person and place where i can release all my emotions and feels..even sometimes i secretive person..
Close here for MARCH story..
The sadness of MARCH ..
Just let it go by times...
Since i very busy in lately..for second time outstation..
NOW--go to GUA MUSANG for induction course for 3 days...
Oh..VERY PACKED SCHECULE...
For 3 days..i try to release my tense and take a mood in order to find the ideas...
In early journey.. we passed by Kuala Lipis and return through Felda ARing and pass by Taik Kenyir..
SubhanAllah.. So awesome..So beautifull..Gorgeous place...
However..unfortunately...it is raining..so we not dropped by..
Return home in late night bout 10pm.
Even exhausted, i need attended another internal course for 2 days...
UShhhhh..surely exhausted but excited
Finally ..i take a leave for 5 days after that...
Spent time and release tension with all my lovely nephews and nieces..
Fell peace and happy even i still in afraid condition...

Quite Consistent

Perhap..in progress to sharp my english rapidly..
i'm truly tried hard to understand, comprehend and repeated a new words, pronouncation..
but for lately..
I'm looks like so engrossed for a while..
Due to a lot of work to do at the workplace..
Many programmes and activities needed me to cover..

Ohhh.. how come..
I should realize that my time very limited..
But i still cannot study ..
Perhap..
So tired..
My back pain problem is return..
It very painful...
It cames to centre..
Led me down totally..

Comes so..so..so..lazy..
I already miss for about 2 weeeks..
God..pray for you...
Give me the strength..
Spiritual..
Presistent felt...
Determination mode..
To make me so eager to get it..
Ethusiasm in study for this..
Only this one ..for the last chance for me..

Ya Ilahi..
Please..looking your help to assit and reminds me back ...
AMIN....

TIMESSS +HEART..no sufficient & spacessss

Sometimes...If felt so consistent..
Felt our routine everyday looks good and balance..
However..still there are some thing MISSSING..why..
Try to avoid it
Those have been happened even try to escape it...
Ya Allah..
Felt so messy ..so terrible so constrain
I need to attain the result but i dont have sufficient times to focus on this manner..
I want..I really hope that i can capture it by myself...
Ya Allah.. give me the strength..
to treat my mind..
to remedy my heart..
my soul tooo...

Give me a spiritual with determination and persistance with humble
to face whatever happen to me
sound like there are a lot of thing need to do..
needed to consider
suddenly felt a pain in deep in heart due of some reason too..
The Sadness ...
i really not sure..
Can I do it.
Can I face it..
Can I being strong for it...
YA ALLAH..
By Your Guidance..I believe that i can pass it..
Please....

Suddenly... i felt so empty and lonely

Oh my God...
suddenly.. i flet so lonely...so sad..
May be i know that all my lovely children already gone ..
They followed their parents to Johor BhARUU..
i FELT SO 222 SAD
Suddenly i realized it...
They not my children..
They'are my nephews and
lovely nieces..
They're not belongs to me..
They cannot always with me..

Oh.. I really felt terrible..
Due i'm a woman..
my heart as a mother intuition..
Ya Ilahi...
Please..please give me a strength to face this situation..
I felt miss him..GEBABBB..
my lovely and clever boy...
I already with him almost a year ...
Now i will lost him...
He not mine...
This word like a blade ..
cut my heart into a pieces..

At the same time..
I got a few bad news..
Something unexpected..
Oh... Time and Time..
If You said a time for sadness...
It's came like the torpedo..
GOd ..my Lord Ya Allah..
I really felt so weak..
So down...
Please assist me ...

i'm try an try...

Syukran Ya Ilahi...
Till now.. i can breath ..i still alive..i still can see the world..
Oh my God Ya Ilahi...
Right now...i'm really struggling...to improve it..
to amend it..
to enhance it...
To be better and better....
Please guide and assist me Dear Allah...
You're care, forgiveness and tenderness to all your servants
Hoping a miracle...
Always seeking your forgiveness..
Give me a strength..an ideas ...generate the ability in deep of my heart
to handle the matter very well and properly...
To be concentrate, focus and alert of it...
hope my achievement give benefit to all not only me with Your Protection, Assist and Guidance
Ya Ilahi...The Creator and The Originator
I always deems that anything happen to me because of You..
Without Your guide and protection..
i'm surely not to be what i'm today,
I'mvery glad to be your servants

Ya Allah...the Exalted in Might, The Wise

Al Rahman
The Compassionate, The Beneficient, who has plenty of mercy for the believers and the blashphemers in the world especially for those the believers in the hereafter.

Al Raheem
The Merciful, the one who has plenty of mercy for the believers.

Al Malik
The King, The Sovereign lord, who the One with complete dominion, the One Whose Dominion is clear from imperfection

Al Quddoos
The Holy, the One is pure from any imperfection and clear from children and adversaries

As Salaam
The Source of Peace, the One who are free from every imperfection